Tag: police

My Demented Bucket List

~ JodiLea ~ 5 Comments

bucket I have not written a ‘real’ bucket list because, well… I’m not that old yet…

However, when Matticus invites you to play a game, you really should play. Because you will have fun. For my dear readers who are curious, but need more motivation –>How about; BECAUSE I SAID SO!!  (It always worked for my mother.)

Another famous blogger I follow, Rarasaur, is experiencing a horrible demented bucket list now. This bucket list game is in her honor, as well as attempting to cheer her up.

There is some crazy stuff that only in a demented state would I even imagine such things could happen (to me).  And I have a very comprehensive imagination – BTW.

My Demented Bucket List

  • Was in a major car accident involving a semi-truck rear-ending a Pinto at 50 mph.
  • We (me and 3 cousins) were rescued by good Samaritan’s who pulled us out the front windows because the back seat had wrapped around the front doors, and the gas tank tore open and gasoline was running down the highway.
  • Was able to pay for 2 semesters of college with settlement money, but still have trouble with my C-5 (vertebrae).
  • I warmed up with the 49ers, on their field at Candlestick Park, one Sunday, pre-game.
  • Kicked a field goal perfectly centered between the posts, and 1 measly inch lower than the crossbar. The referee would not give me a do-over. The Bastard!
  • Heard a packed stadium moan “Awww!” in unison. Because of me.
  • Being read my “rights” by police.
  • Experiencing the “good cop, bad cop” thing live, and not on TV.
  • Being grateful to the DA for deciding not to prosecute an idiot who was too stupid to realize she committed a felony.  Duh.
  • Proofreading a post and getting the “No writing errors were found”

Well, that’s it for now.  I need to get back to reading other people’s dented bucket lists to cheer myself up.

Hang in there, Queen Raur!

😉

 

photo credit: christing-O- via photopin cc

 

Disclosing The Neighbors

~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

Neighborhood Chickens

Question on the Property Owner’s Disclosure Form:  Is there anything about this neighborhood the buyer(s) should be made aware of?

Are you kidding me???

How do we be honest without frightening them away? You live in the same place for 24-years and you get used to things. Like the guy down the street who revs his motorcycle several times a day. Or the retired guy that mows his lawn 4 times a week. Worst of all, the house behind us and one over belonged to an elderly couple when we moved in.  When the couple moved out, The LOUD Family moved in.

LOUD is a gross understatement of the decibel level achieved by the mother in this family. Within two days the entire block knew the names of her husband, kids & pets. Sometimes we weren’t exactly sure who she was screaming at. These anonymous blastings were the LOUDEST of all. The woman could out-swear any sailor, and do it while screaming at the top of her lungs.

Did I mention this was mid-summer, and everyone had their windows open?

The night one of her kids decided to light a candle in their room is etched into my brain forever. The poor kid was called every name in the book (and then some), lectured or screamed at (sometimes both) for 2 hours. Straight. When mom had her say, she left the room. When mom thought of something else her “idiot child” needed to be told, she returned to the kid’s bedroom and screamed some more.

I could not listen to any more of this verbal abuse, and I got up out of bed and debated with myself the pros & cons of  “getting  involved”.  If she screamed one more time I was calling the police station. What I really wanted to do was start screaming back at her. It was 11:00pm and a school-night to boot. I need all the beauty sleep I can get, and she was disturbing my peace.

It turned out that I was not the only neighbor ready to call the police. In fact, a petition was circulated and signed by the residents requesting someone have a nice long talk with the LOUD Lady and tell her to SHUT UP. I’m sure the patrolmen who delivered the petition and explained common courtesy to her were diplomatic. Everyone held their breath a couple of days, then sighed relief.

That was 5 years ago. Summer has returned and windows are opened. The frequency of the LOUD Lady’s outbursts has declined, but she has started to become LOUDer again. To add to the cacophony, the LOUD Family started raising chickens this year. I never heard hens lay before this. It sounds very painful. Also LOUD.  And we have to disclose these facts, in writing, to potential buyer’s.  Damn it!

Maybe a nice Deaf Family will fall in love with our house, throw money at us, and insist we move out ASAP .

It could happen, right?

😉
photo credit: Compassion in World Farming via photo pin cc