Abnormal Greetings

October 20, 2011 ~ JodiLea ~ 3 Comments

Doormat Funny or Rude?

We have had this mat on our front porch for years. It cracked us up because we had a very large and ferocious sounding dog. Molly has been gone almost 2 years now and the joke has worn thin.

So, I’m in the market for a new porch greeting. Those who know me, also know that not any old welcome mat will do. It has to involve some type of amusement for me. It must have an impact on those that ring the doorbell – or why bother?

The perfect greeting has not yet been discovered in a sales catalog, or retail store I shop in. However, I did come across two mats that are exactly the kind I am looking for:

Funny Doormat Funny or Rude?

Not only funny for me, but most likely for any visitors (besides cops) who happen to approach the door.

Rude Doormat

Funny or Rude?

Hilarious for me. Possibly for the visitor also – who knows what kind of sense of humor they will have? (My mom and dad would have loved it!)

If y’all could help me out in my quest for the perfect greeting – please tell me where I should look, or send me a photo of your doormat if you think it’s perfectly abnormal 😉

Thanks in advance!

Are YOU Smarter Than a Seven Year Old?

October 19, 2011 ~ JodiLea ~ 3 Comments

I am not.

On a nature walk around the neighborhood yesterday I learned things I never knew before. We were looking under pine trees for acorns, when suddenly Phoenix squealed “Grandma look!” She pointed to a grayish egg-shaped rock. Owl Pellet

Me: “What is it?”

Phoenix: “It’s an owl pellet!”

Me (typical mother response): “Well, don’t touch it.” I looked closer, skeptically. “It looks pretty big for bird poop”

Phoenix (impatiently): “Grandma. Owl pellets aren’t poop!”

Me: “Then what are they?”

Phoenix: “It’s bones, fur and stuff they can’t digest, so when the meat is all gone they cough it up.”

Me: “Really?”

Phoenix: “I’m not kidding Grandma”. She looked up at me to make sure I knew she was serious.

Me: “Like a hair-ball?”

Phoenix: “Yep. I’ve got to take it to school and show my class!”.

She used the baggie we brought along for acorns to pick up the thing. It was light in weight and thank goodness it did not stink. When hubby (a.k.a. grandpa) got home from work, Phoenix showed him her find. I figured he wouldn’t need an explanation because he watched Animal Planet and all those nature channels, but he had never heard of this before either.

Phoenix Age 7

So we both learned something.

From a 7-year old.

How awesome is that?

Things I Won’t Miss About My Soaps

October 13, 2011 ~ JodiLea

True to my word last week, I managed to drop my scheduled daily recordings of my soaps. I still have saved ones that I’m watching while in the kitchen, or folding laundry in the living room. I have 16 episodes left (8 for each soap). I hate to admit it, but I have started to worry about said soaps. Will the trial be over in eight more episodes? Will I miss Victoria and Billy running into each other? Important crap like that.

I am coping with this pre-abstinence behavior by focusing on what I won’t miss about my soaps. There are many things, actually. Today’s episodes (1 of each) reminded me of some of the really annoying ones..

Like that damned Chloë – I can’t stand her constant whining. Every day it’s something. Jill and Catherine are still fighting after 39-years, and just when you think that Jill has found her true mother – you’re wrong.

And we have spent WAY too many episodes listening to everyone in town going on and on about Hope’s virginity. Especially Hope. She is so sickly-sweet that I have to inject more insulin when watching her.

Sharon and Nicholas Newman That reminds me of Sharon Newman’s too sweet to be true personality. I will miss seeing her ex, Nicholas, though. Yum. But I digress…

What is with Ridge Forrester’s haircut? Are they making him look like an old fuddy-duddy on purpose, or was it a horrible accident? Then there is Stephie Forrester. I love her new haircut. But when is somebody going to shoot the bitch? I am so tired of her I’m-a-little-princess attitude and her slutty ways. I suspect she is the progeny of Taylor and Bill Spencer, but I’m not going to wait around for that revelation.

And don’t get me started on Victor Newman. Just don’t.