Take Me To Your Leader…

DogBarks4TheeI am way too old for this crap!

Ziva, being 5-months old, is not too old for this crap at all, in fact, it’s what she lives for. She is convinced that she is the Alpha female of our “pack”.  She rubs this in my face – every chance she gets – just like the little bitch she is.

Please, save your “Oh, she’s just playing!” or “She can’t be doing that on purpose!” excuses. When your potty trained puppy looks you in the eye, squats and pees a river, she knows exactly what she is doing. She did not “forget” or have a “puppy moment”. She is telling you – point-blank -“I piss upon your carpet!”   Looky-Looky

I will hear the sound of Ziva running and leaping up on the couch while I’m working in my office, or the laundry room.  She sprawls out, taking up 2/3 of said couch, like she owns it, not because it’s so comfortable she can’t resist, but waiting for me to see her misbehaving, taunting me as if giggling “Look at me, look at me!”  Indeed.  At first I let myself believe these things were coincidences. Even I, the Queen of De Nile, could not convince myself of this, being the NCIS fan that I am, I know Gibb’s rule #39 – ‘there is no such thing as coincidence.’

To confirm my suspicions (and Gibb’s Rule), Gina, our ever-patient, but tough, dog trainer tells me “Ziva has no respect for you – whatsoever”.  All righty then.  She reminds me of a therapist I once had, who also sugar-coated everything.  😉

Gina points things out that weaken my image as Alpha and how I was handing over my authority to Ziva without realizing it. Luckily, it is not too late to prove myself as Alpha, but it is going to be a lot more difficult than it had to be.  Of course it is. The hard way is my M.O. as anyone who has read more than two of my blog posts can attest to. I feel you out there, nodding in agreement.

I am determined to mold Ziva into a well-behaved pet, that can go anywhere with me and not cause a commotion. She often is the center of commotion without even trying, because people love her and want to pet her. I get that. But as much as I love dogs, I don’t believe I would approach a lunging, barking, growling and salivating LARGE dog. Oh, wait! She only pulls that crap on me.

Ziva is only 50 pounds now, but may grow to be twice that.  God help you if she decides to be your new lap dog.
Ziva “tests” hubby all the time too, but she respects his “power” and place within the pack hierarchy. All he needs to do is speak sternly with his deep voice, and Ziva listens and obeys.

Unlike E.F.Hutton, when I speak, nobody listens. Not my dog, my hubby – nobody. People at work used to listen to me and that was cool. I’m retired now, so that’s over. Fine with me – I mean, it’s not worth going back to work for, right?

Therein lies my problem. I don’t thrive on power and status. I am a follower by nature and I’m not driven to be an Alpha.  Ziva picked up on these vibes somehow, and now have homework.  Gina told me I didn’t even need  Ziva to work with me, at this point. What!?! I need to practice my behavior, so I become more confident in handling her.

Sigh. This is what I get for falling in love with a breed of dog that is smarter than I am.

EvilZiva
Not-so-sweet Berner

BabyZiva Lost: Sweet Baby Berner. Please – return her unharmed. We miss her so much! Sizable Reward & no questions asked. And for Pete’s sake- take the other one with you!

 

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Disclaimer: Bernese Mountain Dogs are a special breed. Not only beautiful, but loving and smart. The only problems we have with our Ziva are because we didn’t know any better.

Ask around and find a good trainer before your puppy has all their shots! You can do private lessons then – only have to wait for all shots before attending a group class. Now we know this, and urge you to stop reading all the dog training books and call a trainer. [Those books never agree with each other anyway.]

 

 

 

 

Insulin Pump Saga: Getting Closer…

When I said “stay tuned…” I had no idea that I would be leaving you hanging for a whole  NovologSyringemonth. Yikes! 2014 has begun with a calendar full of appointments, events, etc and that’s my excuse for the long lull in this Insulin Pump Saga.

I passed the requirements to get into the February pump training classes. Yippee!! Next week I see my Endo (endocrinologist) and she will look over my “numbers” and write a prescription for my pump programming. The trainer will come over and go over my pump with me and fill it with saline solution while I am “in training”. This is for when I make a boo-boo and tell the pump to give me more insulin than it would take to kill a horse.  That way it’s an “Oooops!” instead of a funeral. I am completely OK with that approach  😉

I am excited, yet anxious too. It will be a huge change in my life, and even though I want this change, it will be a major one.

February is here and so is my pump. Keep staying tuned (but don’t hold your breath or anything)  🙂

J

Diabetes: Rumors VS. Truth

Type I Diabetes runs in my family, so I grew up in a ‘diabetic friendly environment’. Occasionally, I forget that the lucky non-diabetic people have limited information about how we (people with diabetes) live with the disease and it’s consequences.

So… before I begin to write posts about my adventures with starting on insulin pump therapy, I want y’all to have  some background knowledge and dispel any ridiculous incorrect information you may have heard about the disease (or its victims).

Diabetics cannot have any sugar or they will go into a coma. Although it is true that we need to severely limit our intake of sugar, eating sugar will not make us fall over into a deep sleep.

Coma happens to diabetics that are not being treated or have not been diagnosed. An undiagnosed diabetic who does not eat sugar or a lot of carbohydrates, can still have drastically high blood glucose levels, and over time, will eventually become ill enough to be comatose.

If you eat too much sugar you will get diabetes. Totally not true. Ever.

DiabetesTesting
Severe low blood sugar

High blood sugar is more dangerous than low blood sugar.  False. Low blood sugar (under 60 mg/dL) can  cause sweaty clamminess, shaking, irritability, or violence. Severe low blood sugar (under 40 mg/dL) can cause  seizures, hallucinations, brain damage and death. High blood sugar over time will cause nasty complications, but not the immediate danger low blood sugar does.

Taking good care of yourself can make your diabetes go away. Totally not true. Ever. Diabetes is a disease that causes your pancreas to stop producing the insulin that helps your body break down sugar.

While it is true that a better diet and more exercise will help your body regulate glucose levels, your pancreas will not regenerate its way back to health. (Dammit!)

Diabetics have to eat meals based on recipes in ‘diabetic cookbooks’. No, we don’t!  We can eat any foods ‘normal’ people eat. We only have to ‘do the math’ to adjust our insulin dose and watch portions of carbs and fat.

People always ask me “can you eat this, or have that?” Yes, I can have a piece of that wedding cake. Or fruit salad. Or Christmas cookie. But I shouldn’t have any more than that. It’s a matter of proportion and choice.

Friends worry they will offer me something “bad for me” or “tempt me” into eating things I can’t have by eating them in front of me. STOP worrying! Prepare whatever menu you would like. I know what I should and shouldn’t eat. It is my responsibility – not yours.

I hope that by answering the questions that I am asked the most, will answer questions you may have about diabetes. If you have questions not answered here, please submit your question below. You may also submit diabetes related subject you would like to know more about  🙂

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photo credit: DeathByBokeh via photopin cc