Packing My Bags For Court

Alameda County Courthouse My number is up and I must report by 8:00am – tomorrow.

I sweet-talked hubby into dropping me off at the train station so I don’t have to walk to the bus stop in the dark, then ride around 2 towns for 30 minutes to get there. This will save some wear and tear on me, as well as 2 bucks.

I will need the extra time to figure out the ticket machines. They change things around every year – to keep me on my toes.

Going anywhere that is not my office at work means I have to literally pack a bag. Sometimes it’s just a matter of stuffing my Big Ass Purse to the seams. But an all day trip requires a Big Ass Purse AND another bag.

I wish I was a gal who could travel light. I see these women with teeny tiny purses that could only hold 1 lipstick, a credit card, and a condom. They must live simple care-free lives and I want to scream.

I need a purse that is at least 18″ across and 12″ deep. No kidding.

Big Ass Purse
The Big Ass Purple Purse Exposed

This is the normal everyday stuff: Ducky key-ring, 2 pairs of glasses (one is sunglasses and both prescription), cell phone, Kleenex, wallet,  gum, address book, nail file, hand lotion, day-timer, granola bar, medications, personal lady things, and the all important little box of juice. And guess what? I have a train ticket from last year’s adventure that has $2.85 left on it. Wahoo!

You may be thinking, “Oh what a whiner! That’s not so much stuff.” And you’re right. But I’m not finished packing yet. I still have to fit in my little friends.

Medical Equipment
Entourage for a Diabetic

Believe me, this stuff is all squeezed into the big ass purple purse, except for the Fruit Fizz bottle. That will go into the tote bag along with my lunch, notebook, paperback and crochet project. Maybe my iPod too.

Now I have what I need to take a day trip. Except for one important detail.

What the Hell am I going to wear??

To Be Continued…

My Annual Duty

The Jury Box  I’m talking about jury duty.

Now, before I go into my rant story, I want you to know that I am a law-abiding citizen and I show up when summoned.

I have served on a jury for 2 trials now.

This seems like a low number to me considering that I am “randomly” selected EVERY  F- -**1@G  YEAR!!  For the past 28 years I have received a notice in the mail from the court.

Twenty-eight summons for jury duty. All for the SAME courthouse. Extreme un-randomness* is going on here. Oh yes, and this courthouse is not near my town.  That would be too convenient for me to serve in the area I actually live in. I have to take a bus to the transit station, then ride the train 25 miles to the not-so-good part of a major city. And walk four l-o-n-g blocks.  This is not a happy thing for a small town gal (me) to be doing.

Oh sure, they pay me. But not for the first day anymore. What sucks is that the courts daily pay rate is lower than my daily transportation rate to get there. I did the math and I’m losing money when I’m a juror. Sigh…

They started doing something new for Monday summons dates now. Instead of calling (or going to their website) on Friday after 5:00pm to see if your number is up, now you won’t know until Sunday after 5:00pm. The Courts are closed on Friday’s so why can’t we find out Thursday night? Someone actually works at the courthouse on Sunday afternoon to make a recording and alter a webpage? There is something fishy going on here.

I hate having this hope over my head all weekend – “will I get lucky and not have to go in the morning?”, “Will the deal get cancelled?” I want to know NOW!  Sigh.

So… Sunday evening (after the 49er’s beat the Rams), I have to log in and find out the bad news. I already know that my number is up because – I bet you can guess – it happens EVERY  F–**1%@G  YEAR. Looking at it is only a formality.

My hubby? He has gotten only 2 summons for jury duty (2 different courthouses, mind you) his entire life.

Now that’s random.


* un-randomness: (adj.) So far from being random it’s comical.
– taken from the “Words That Should Exist Dictionary”