Peace, With A View

Writing 101: Day Two
If you had the power to get somewhere — anywhere — where would you go – right now?

NavarreBeachOh, Navarre…

I want to be with your calm and warm water, lazily lapping the whitest of sand. The mornings I spent laying prostrate on an air mattress, admiring an ocean smooth as glass, were blissful. The sun, kissing my skin with its gentle warmth, no hint of its ravaging heat, that sets fire to the sand, in mid-day.

In early morning, the sea blends with the air in temperature, and I feel like I’m floating on nothing. My anxiety and burdens leave me.  I want to stay like this forever, one with nature. Only feeling. Not thinking. (I think way too much.) I wanted this wonderful peace  to come home with me. But it could not.

When I think of Navarre, it’s always “Oh, Navarre…”, spoken in a nostalgic, yearning way, bordering on the dramatic. It’s name reminds me of Nirvana. Not the band, but the word’s definition: “Nirvana is a place or state of being in peace or complete happiness.”

And that is exactly how Navarre was for me.

J

Life as I know it

Sunset View

I have seen this view every day since August, and only recently I realized how incongruous it was. A cactus, palm tree, the ocean along the horizon, and a street light – all in the same landscape.

My life is like this. Priorities so diverse they belong on different to-do-lists and other people, thrown haphazardly  into a mosaic. Leaving me to try to do something with it.

I am disturbed by how long it took me to notice this. Proof that my brain is too busy. Like how a computer processes sluggishly during a virus scan, my head always has several thoughts vying for attention.

Example: What will I blog about today? Do I need to refill any prescriptions… Need to look up the bugs ready to beta test… What time on Sunday are the 49ers playing… Oh – don’t forget to call Karen with today’s joke… Make that dentist appointment…  Christian Kane is so damned HOT I can’t stand it… What rhymes with monster…  I wish my sister would stop making that noise…  Got to put that in the test plan… A nap sounds good, wish mom would take one so I could…  What should I make for dinner…  I wonder when  Victor Newman will get what he deserves… Why am I so stuck on the middle of my novel… I need a pedicure and a facial…  Put Liquid Plumber on the grocery list before I forget again… Hope my granddaughter loves the Christmas Dress I sent her…

All that and more in the 20 seconds it took to take the trash out.  No wonder I become exhausted by the end of the day…

My camera’s auto feature did not know what the hell to focus on either. Sometimes it was the garden cherub, or the cactus. Other times the palm trees. They are actually two palms next to each other, not a double-headed one. For some reason, I was disappointed when I discovered the truth.

Like the photo, my life is interesting, if not ideal. My focus and outlook varies from day-to-day. I suspect I may have undiagnosed multiple personality disorder. I keep this fact to myself. People already find me a bit unsettling. Like the residential street light smack in the middle of a landscape.