Bittersweet Agony

Two female Bernese Mountain Dogs were bred in Grass Valley at bernersSwiss Star Farms. I know this because I call the breeder, Bobbie Hefner, at least once a month:

“Hello?” Bobbie answers.

“Is anybody pregnant yet?”  I am so desperate now, that I have dropped all small talk. I know it’s rude, but I just can’t stand this unknowingness! **

SmilingMore
If She Knows, She Isn’t Saying

“Both girls have been bred, but it’s too soon to know if they are pregnant, or not.” she tells me.

NOT!? That possibility hadn’t occurred to me. I shoved it out of my mind to consider (and worry about) later.

“Oh…” I no longer mask my disappointment.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything,” she tries to console me, but it doesn’t help. My mental state is swiftly devolving around this issue, and I feel 3-years old.  I have to consciously force myself to not stomp my foot and scream, “Where is my puppy!?”

When I get off the phone, I pout. I waited over 2-years for a puppy because we were packing, selling our old house & moving into our new house. Then I had to wait until we went on an Alaskan Cruise. Hubby has no more excuses now, and it has been over 4-years since I have had a dog. FOUR YEARS!  Patience is no longer a virtue – it’s GONE.

Then, I remember that I am home alone. Hubby is out doing his thing.  By the time he gets home, I am still dog-less, and my foot hurts.

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** unknowingness [un . NO . ing . ness], adverb. “The agonizing period while you are waiting to know something, and you have no control over finding the answer.
– From the Dictionary of Words That Should Exist

Adventures In Jury Duty

Preparing to leave: 0430 – 0545

I awoke with a huge pimple in the middle of my chin, a crack in my lower lip, and wilder than usual hair. My eyes were not cooperating with the Visine™ . I tried to cover up the zit and my horrible skin with some foundation, then had to accept the fact I must leave the house looking like a drug addict.

Train Platform

Journey to Courthouse: 0620 – 0650

Hubby dropped me at train station. I made him kiss me like it was a date or something.  Figured out the ticketing and was up on the platform in plenty of time. When the doors swooshed open, I found a seat that didn’t look too gross and planted myself.

Inside Train

The conductor says “Daly City bound train” right before swooshing the doors shut. Yikes! I don’t want to go there. Before I could build  up to panic mode, I saw the big route map posted by the doors and that my stop was on the way to Daly City. Whew! That adrenaline spike woke me up. I thought I was awake before. I was not.

Walking: 0650 – 0750  Lake by Courthouse

The walk over to the courthouse was cold, but not long. Now I could relax because I was there early. Then I found out the courthouse doors do not open until 0800. I pouted at the security guard, but he didn’t care. This is not happy news for the cold and tired bag lady who has to pee.

I walked around the nearby lake and surrounding neighborhood in search of a coffee. In spite of popular belief, there is not a Starbucks on every corner.

After walking for 30 minutes and already needing one of my packed snax, I decided to find a place out of the wind and sit down. No places like that. The courthouse had a nice outdoor “picnic” area with small round tables and attached seats. I sat there even though there was no shelter from the wind and the tables and seats were made out of cement. Brrrrr! I scribbled some notes in my notebook. I couldn’t crochet because my hands were too shaky under my knit gloves. So, I sat there feeling glad I never got a coffee because the need to pee is increasing.

At 0730 I began to have company. Other jurors, like me, who figured the courthouse opened before 0800 so you could be in the jury room at 0800 sharp (so says the summons). We decided to crowd around the entrance and put a little pressure on the security crew. By 0750 the security guard cracked, and let us inside.

Waiting: 0750 – 0945

I found a comfy seat and settled down to my crocheting. I knew the drill already. After orientation and a pep-talk video about being a juror it was 0945. We got a 30 minute break. I decided to call my co-worker and see what was happening in the office. I turned on my cell and it immediately chirped at me, flashed a “Battery Dead” text at me and shut itself off.  The battery was full yesterday.

The snack bar (that’s what they were calling a tiny 7′ by 12′ aisle with a cash register at the end) had a line that was moving so slowly that break time was up before I even got into the aisle. Back to the Jury room I go.

By now all the tardy jurors had arrived and 250 of us were occupying every seat in the place. The seats were very close to each other and that disturbed me because at least half of the jurors were sneezing, coughing, and blowing.

We waited for word from the court needing a jury for another hour. When the word came, it was “the judge is sick – no jurors needed today”

Why couldn’t the judge call in sick before they post the juror’s notice the day before?  Sheesh.