Author: JodiLea

I don't pretend to be who/what I'm not. I will be honest here unless I publish under the category "This could be news," which is 99% fiction and a wee bit sarcastic. ;-) I want readers who come here to have as much fun as I do. Not all subjects can be fun, but most can be funny if I do my job right ;-) My inner child is reflected in my logo and will change at a moment's notice.

Bears Don’t Meditate In The Woods…

~ JodiLea

Firearms

I came across this poster today and it made me giggle. Not because it’s all that funny, but it was a reminder of my own encounter with a bear, armed only with my iPhone. The iPhone would have been more useful than a camera because I could dial 9-1-1. If I was at the top of the tree I could maybe get a bar or two. I am such an optimist! Or is it denial? I get those mixed up all the time.

The odds of any help getting there in time to rescue me are astronomical. Winning Lotto probably has better odds. Bears climb trees faster than grandmothers with acrophobia and a bad back.

Thankfully, my bear left the scene and I didn’t have to climb any trees that day. The next day, while enjoying my morning coffee, I see the bear again!  He is sitting by the same tree  No Way! I said out-loud to myself.   All Right – now this is just too much for even me to believe. Especially when he was back again the third day…

There must be some shadow/light combination that makes those trees look like a bear during breakfast. Sure enough, when I looked out the window an hour after breakfast, he wasn’t to be seen. I felt embarrassed, yet relieved, to discover my meditating bear was not real.  Now, if I really do see a bear, who will take me serious enough to check it out?  Not hubby or hubby’s friend.

Hubby has a gun safe in his shop. There are modern rifles, WWII era rifles, and various pistols locked in it. If I’m going to hike the trail into the forest by myself (cause hubby is too busy to go) I want to be armed with more than just my iPhone. More than imaginary Bear Repellent, even.

Well, dear readers, don’t y’all worry. Skittish grandmothers won’t be hiking through the Stanislaus National Forest with firearms. Dammit!

Hubby refuses to give me the combination.

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Moving To The Mountains

~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment
  1. Food takes longer to cook at high elevations.
  2. Propane stoves cook hotter than gas stoves.
  3. And no, this does not even things out.
  4. You can’t cook pinto beans in a crock pot here – they will not soften, no matter how many days you keep them in there.
  5. Contrary to popular belief  (OK –mine), bears do not meditate in the woods.
  6. Just because you live surrounded by trees and forest land doesn’t mean you’ve seen the last of 100+ degree temperatures OR humidity.
  7. There are no street lights on mountain roads.
  8. There are trillions of night insects – and they are freakishly noisy.
  9. The Sierra Mountain dirt has ore in it, and it’s penetrating rust color does not wash out all the way.
  10. If you want the shelves stocked and your senior discount at the one and only market in town, you have to shop on Wednesdays.

Never Let A Man Pick Out Your Vacuum Cleaner-Part 2

~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

When I calmed down about Big Yellow, it occurred to me that the user manual might help.  I’m a technician for heaven’s sake, maybe I can fix this evil thing.

Sure enough, there were suggestions for what to do if the vacuum is hard to push. Check the  brush roller, and belt for signs of wear. Replace the worn parts.

All-righty then…

In order to do this, one has to remove the entire bottom plate of said vacuum. I find my Phillips screw driver, and remove the screws holding the plate on. When I remove the plate, a bunch of dusty dirt poofs out all over me and the floor.  And there was this black sooty looking crap everywhere. How about that? Men had been vacuuming my house! The evidence was right in my face. Literally.

The sooty crap was coming off the worn and disintegrating belt. I had a another belt in the cupboard. After attaching  the new belt, and syncing it with the roller (which looked pretty worn also), I cleaned up the bottom plate and screwed it back on.

Wah-Lah!!

The test drive was disappointing. Big Yellow seemed a teeny bit easier to push, but he still was too much for me. I got on-line and ordered a replacement belt and a new roller. When it arrives I will install it and then we will see if Big Yellow can stay here or not.

Good grief! I have taken apart a machine, fixed one thing and ordered parts for it. Man  kind of stuff.  Have I begun to turn into a man?   [Hubby is not going to like this at all…]

Oh wait! – I just remembered that I read the manual while  fixing Big Yellow, therefore, I am nowhere near becoming a man.

Whew!!