Category: Humor

Science: Facts or Not?

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

SolarSystem I cleaned out (yet another) box from my parents house today. All of the crap stuff that sis and I brought home from school, K-6, appeared to be in there. Pretty boring, until I found a school project that I put together in 5th Grade. It was 1969 and the US Space Program was deep into the Apollo missions. My teacher thought we could learn something about what was going on and making history in our lifetime.

So, along with reading, writing and math, we studied Space. Miss Curtis had us keep notebooks to keep track of the different Apollo missions: The launch date, their mission, which astronauts were assigned, etc.,

The sort of information that NASA now classifies.

Creating classified documents was merely a fraction of Miss Curtis’s 5th grade classwork. We had space terminology to learn and study for spelling tests on that terminology. We had to keep an alphabetical index of all the words, their pronunciation, as well as definition. I didn’t really remember keeping the notebook, but I do remember sitting in front of the TV, watching Saturn V launches. Anxiously watching the clock at NASA when the astronauts were out of radio contact. We didn’t know we were holding our breath, until we heard a crackling “Houston this is Apollo, do you read?”

I was reading this notebook and I made a thrilling discovery. There it was, all this time, sitting in a dusty box in the garage. I can prove the truth about Pluto! According to the definition  “planet”, along with diagrams of Earth’s Sun and the planets that orbit it – Pluto IS a Planet.  SO, all you erudite scientists – stop saying it isn’t!  Are you calling Miss Curtis a liar!?

Children learn scientific “facts” in school. You can’t come forth decades later and declare a “fact do-over”. It isn’t right to decide Pluto is not worthy of being a planet. You can’t just rip him out of our solar system. We love Pluto.

I feel like I wasted those years in grade-school, learning temporary facts.

Oh, and while we are on the subject of temporary facts…
IT’S A BRONTOSAURUS, DAMMIT!!

TTFN,
Jodi

 

Well, Thank Goodness THAT is Over!

~ JodiLea

49er-logoI’m not sure WHAT happened, but I wanted to watch football this afternoon. Instead, there were more yellow flags on the field than players. Mistakes, turn-overs, missed field goals, and chaos were going on in the 49er’s Levi’s Stadium. I’m sorry to say that it was 49ers causing 95% percent of the mess. The ^&@**@! Bronco’s were too busy scoring points to bother with more than 5%.

Do the “new guys” need a lot more training? Probably. But this loss was not their fault. They played damn good football. The  ^&@**@!  Bronco’s played just a smidgen better, and maybe even a little dirtier.  Or was it that the 49er’s hearts were broken, in the first quarter? When in their first game played in their fabulous new stadium, those ^&@**@!  Bronco’s made the first score?   I believe that could have a huge impact on any teams moral.  And each following score only deepening the wound.

In pre-season coaches are supposed to give the new guys experience, work on lessening their mistakes. Shit happens and you get beaten down. You learn from that and charge right into the playoffs later that season…

You probably have guessed I am a ’49er Faithful’, so of course I support them. No matter what.

The last time I saw such a beating, was…  uh…

hmm..

OH YES!   The Super Bowl.   Remember those Sea-Hawks, Peyton?   I bet you do.  As we shall remember this day.

And to our competitors across the Bay in Oakland, you can stop laughing now. Congrats on your win on Thursday, BTW. At least all the crap was happening on our field, instead of in the stands at your home games.  [It simply had to be said]

And while I’m at it, I should tell you how I really feel about Cheese Heads, Terrible Towels, and  &$%*^*!  Denver.  But there are not enough ‘special characters’ in my font library.  I hide my feelings when around family members, many of whom are die-hard fans of other NFL teams.  But I can tell you, my dear readers, because my non-49er-fan relatives don’t even read my blog. That alone makes them suspect, if you know what I mean.

I ♥ My 49ers

TTFN,
Jodi

The Simple Solution to Our Drought

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

Well, gang – I researched my our drought solution. It is surprisingly easy, too!  I was imagining some complicated intense ceremony, and some Tribes may indeed practice those, but this is what I found the most, during my quest.

RainGirl

How To Perform a Native American Rain Dance

Step 1:Wear turquoise and feathers, if you have any. Many Native American tribes associate turquoise with rain and feathers with the wind. Put on any turquoise-colored clothing that you may have and turquoise jewelry. If you have access to any bird or decorative feathers, place a couple in your hair or secure them to a hat and wear them during the rain dance.

Step 2: Find an outdoor space where you have plenty of room to move around. Choose a space that has sparse or no tree cover so that you have a clear view of the sky. The terrain of the space you choose should be relatively flat, which will make it easier to do the rain dance.

Step 3: Spin around in circles. Begin spinning clockwise at a slow and steady pace. Chant your own simple rain chant as you spin. Your chant can be something as simple as the word “rain” repeated over and over or an entire phrase, such as “Come down rain.” Raise your hands to the sky occasionally to urge the rain to fall. A steady drum rhythm would be ideal, but not required.

Step 4: Speed up your spinning and chanting. The longer you spin and chant, the faster you should spin and chant. [Author’s note: If  spinning concerns you, take Dramamine an hour before dancing.] Close your eyes as you dance and breathe in deeply between chants. When you want to end the dance, drop to your knees in silence. Stay on your knees until any dizziness you feel goes away and you can regain your balance.
♥

Even I, here in a mountainous forest, have an open flat surface in front of my house. It could contain 10 dancers, so I wouldn’t have to dance by myself.  Now I only need to  bribe  recruit more people!

Californians-> Please pass the word to your friends & neighbors. Start a rain-dancers group that meets during lunch-hour. Teach others, especially children who love to dance and chant naturally. Teachers could make this a physical education opportunity, now that schools are back in session. If you have a fabulous idea you would like to share PLEASE leave a comment below, we need to stick together  🙂

Dancing Tomato

It is time we turn off our phones and TV’s, and commune with nature!

♥  Dance Instructions provided by – http://www.ehow.com/  ♥