The Woman Rules: Our Side of the Story

TeaTimeLast month I received copy of “The Man Rules” in my email. I, with some fellow bloggers/readers, had to respond with some “rules” of our own.

1.  Hurting us physically or emotionally may make us cry. If you do not want us to cry then don’t do that. If YOU did not hurt us, don’t try to ‘fix’ us. Just hold us and let us cry it all out.

2.  If  you realize you made a mistake, or that you were wrong about something – fess up. Apologize if you need to. Odds are you need to.

3.  Leave the damn toilet seat however you want.  Just AIM for pity’s sake.

4.  Do not ask the woman you just drove to and from outpatient surgery, “What’s for dinner?”

5.  Whenever the 49er’s (or whoever) have a game, we will be using the TV. Yes, that includes the remote. We will not be cooking, answering the phone – anything.  PLAN AHEAD.  The team schedule is posted on the fridge.

6.  We cannot read minds.  But, we are pretty sure we know what you’re thinking.

7.  If you are refusing to talk (or otherwise communicate) with us, we will imagine, construe – basically make up, what’s wrong and why you are not speaking to us.  We are aware of #6, but that does not keep us from inventing ridiculous scenarios in our head. These scenarios always turn out badly for you.

8.  When we tell you that your habit of checking out “babes”, or flirting with them, doesn’t bother us – WE ARE LYING.

9.  We know we are eating way too much pizza and Chinese food, but it’s been a long day, we don’t want to cook, and no one else is offering to.

10. If you think our menstrual cycle is horrifying – just wait until menopause. WE don’t even know what the Hell is going on. What we do know is we have Zero Tolerance for annoying.  And everything annoys us.

God be with you.   ♥

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Photo credit to Letty, proprietor of The August Tea Room, Livermore, CA.
Ladies having tea: Myself, My Lovely Daughter and My Lovely Daughter From Another Mother.
[left to right]

 

What The – !?

Mother Nature must be sick of hearing about the drought all the time. Why else would she cause such a strange course in the weather?

THIS preempted tonight’s evening movie…

A Thank You to grandpa Bruce and granddaughter Chloë, for freezing their patooties off to bring you this video.

 

The Things Some People Go Through to Get the Good Drugs

Three words: Oral. Surgery. Tuesday.

So, what does a gal like me do the night before? Basically everything I won’t be able to do for over a week:

I chew. Popcorn, toffee peanuts. granola, pumpkin seeds.
I suck beverages through a straw. Really hard.

I do NOT rinse with antiseptic mouthwash or warm salt water.

I plan out my TV for the next 3-days. I need to stay in my recliner and not wander around the house in a stupor, asking for trouble. I will not be allowed in the kitchen, for reasons I’m too lazy tonight to go into. Ask my kids – they love telling the story…

On the TV list, so far, are movies I love.  Armageddon, Lethal Weapon, Forever Young. One movie I had not yet seen – Life of PI. I read the book, so I know the story, and I’m looking forward to seeing the film.

I wouldn’t expect too much blog activity this week. Of course, it could go the other way, after all, this is me we’re talking about.  Way too much TMI – type of information may get spread around the Internet.  God forbid there are photos!

Do not fear. I can’t write in my sleep and that is all I can do besides sit like a zombie in la-la land. The pain is gone – but so is my brain.

Got to go rinse with salt water and medicine. Then it’s back to my recliner to sleep through another movie. Yawn! In an hour I will wonder if I posted this blog or not ;-(

J