Diary of a Nicotine Addict: T -10 hours and Counting

May 19, 2011December 3, 2012 ~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

The Last One

Thursday, May 19th

Dear Diary,

My last pack has 4 cigarettes in it and I am debating whether or not to save 1 of them for the morning with my coffee. Waking up for me is the hardest part without a cigarette. Don’t I deserve a break on my birthday morning? The more I think about it, the better it sounds, so that is now my plan. Maybe I can save 2 of them….

Today I warned my co-worker and office hallway neighbor that tomorrow I may seem “off”. I have a mindless task all to work on all day if I want (need?) to. Since my hubby hasn’t read my blog in a long time, I had to warn him also. He took the news really well, which means he forgot what a pain in the ass I’m going to be for an unknown quantity of days. Maybe weeks.

I may even glam it up a bit if I have extra time. I never know what sort of mood I will be having in the morning, so I may go to work wearing comfy casual. One thing I am definitely wearing is a nicotine patch. What I put on over it, is not so important.

When you arise tomorrow morning, please wish me luck, or say a prayer, or knock on wood for me – whatever it is you do to send someone good vibes, OK?. I will need them!

TTFN 🙂

How I Got My Name

March 28, 2011 ~ JodiLea

The Yearling Gone With The Wind

My mom was under the influence, of Hollywood, when she named my sister and I. Our names came from movies that she saw while pregnant with us.

When mom was pregnant with me, she saw “The Yearling”. She really liked the name of the little boy in the film. His name was Jody. Mom dropped the “y” and put an “i” – so my name is Jodi. I knew I had a cross-gender name, but to find out I was actually named after a boy character in a movie, I was irked about this.

This was totally unfair! I wanted mom to take it back and name me a girl’s name, but she would not do it. “Be glad you have a unique name,” she told me. “The world has way too many Mary’s, Karen’s and Cathy’s.” I could not argue with that.

Four years later, my sister got the pretty and feminine name. The movie mom saw was “Gone with the Wind”. Her name is Melanie. It was bad enough to have a boys name without dealing with a younger sister having a girl’s name. I was extremely irked about this discrimination.

Mom, why the hell didn’t you name her ‘Rhett’?

Sext Anyone?

March 4, 2011 ~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

Texting I fantasize about getting some sext. Nothing pornographic. Some romantic flirtations and naughty talk, that’s all I want.

But for this to happen, some Romeo would have to punch in my number by mistake. Or a pervert making crank sexts finds me. The man I want to have sext with, won’t be sexting me anytime soon.

My husband does not know how to text. I have sent him a little sext, but alas, he doesn’t know how to retrieve it. The man has a college degree. He can repair anything. He could take a phone apart, fix it, and put it back together again, and it would work. But when it comes to actually using a cell-phone, he is a retard.

I know that he could learn to use the features of his cell. He just doesn’t care. He only has the phone because I insisted. As long as the phone will call people and receive calls he is content. Not that he calls – much.

We have lived 500 miles apart for the past 9 months, so sexting might be fun. For some reason this has not occurred to him. Maybe he is enjoying his bachelorhood while he can. It’s been years since he has had the bathroom counter to himself and silence when he gets home from work. Perhaps this is his vacation from me.

At least I am confident he isn’t sexting someone else. Not all wives are so lucky. 😉