Questions From A Curious Mind

March 3, 2013March 2, 2013 ~ JodiLea ~ 6 Comments

I’m not insane enough (yet?), to answer when I ask myself a question. These questions I have are not ones you can get answers for on Google. Maybe YOU could help me. If you’re not afraid to be seen here, and would work ~~for free~~ pro-bono.

Before anyone volunteers (rrrrighttt!), I should give you a few examples of the crap my mind wonders about, while I go about my day:

If you gave your blog URL to your therapist, would it help him diagnose you?

Why does the IRS expect you to pay taxes after you die? This has apparently been going on for a while, so we can’t blame Obama for this. But just who in the Hell thought this was a good idea?

Why aren’t Honey-Boo-Boo’s parents in jail?

Which shades of green yarn make cuter crocheted frogs? Should I use all shades to convey diversity, or does PC only apply to people?

Did Jewel write her song, Foolish Games, about Jean-Claude Van Damme?

Speaking of, I sure would love to be able to do spin-kicks like that. No matter how many times I watch his movies, I can’t get the move down. I sure like watching him do them. (no question here – my mind just veers off on its own)

What happened to dancing to The Macarena at wedding receptions? I could do that one.

Do all men blow their nose in the shower?

What was I thinking when I gave my blog address to my kids?

And so on, and so forth.

photo credit: theunquietlibrarian via photopin cc

Searching For Perfection

March 1, 2013March 1, 2013 ~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

Dearest Reader, please forgive any blurry headers, sidebar alterations, weird colors and fonts you may find here. These changes will be temporary, and the next time you visit it will probably look different – again. Not Pretending (to be sane) is “under construction” for an unknown amount of time. I have trouble making decisions. Especially decisions that involve me personally, like this blog.

Not Pretending is my “baby” and I want it to look perfect. Easy on the eyes, professional – yet fun. I don’t even know if that’s possible, but it’s what I’m going to strive for. Tonight’s new theme is pretty. Maybe too pretty and sane for me…

That being said, I plan to keep writing and even posting, if I write something worthy. No promises though. My multitasking skills have begun to deteriorate since I retired 7-months ago. And next week I’ll be out-of-town with hubby’s family, so I may not post. Then again, family can be quite entertaining at times. Winking smile

Crazy Quilt Crap

February 27, 2013 ~ JodiLea

For those new to Not Pretending, you may not know that I am often the victim of life’s improbable and sometimes ridiculous events. In other words, the craziest crap happens to me. Sometimes the crap is humorous. Sometimes it’s caused by my clumsiness or stupid thinking. Occasionally, there are outside forces at work against me. Like today.

I got a “kit” to make an easy level crib quilt and I decided my beginner skills could handle it. All I had to do was sew two borders around a solid panel, then find a fabric for the backing and some batting for the in-between layer. Then I could quilt it and finish it. Piece of cake.

What I forgot to factor into this venture, was that I was the one doing it.

The first thing I did was open the kit and look at the fabric. The Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore panel, that was 90% of the quilt, was cut out crooked. At first I blamed the quilting store. Then, I noticed the pattern of little holes running down the sides of the panel. Someone had attempted to make the quilt before I got the kit. Mmmm…

Probably the same person who cut the panel half-assed, I told myself. I will just trim the edges and make it square up. 35 minutes later it was as good as it was gonna get. On to cutting the fabric for the borders!

The border fabric was cut crooked as well – what a surprise! Now to sew the 1st border fabric to the panel. First I ironed the pieces, then I lined the right sides together and pinned the fabrics where I wanted them to be when I sewed. This took up a lot of time. I used my rulers and marking pencil, as I was taught and still I had somehow cut the border pieces a bit “off”.

Oh well, I said. The outside borders would make up for it, and I plundered on.

HA! Ignorance is NOT bliss. The outer border matched up even worse. Now I had a mess so obvious that I would have to start over.

This is what happened to the quilter before me. After ripping out all the stitches, she packed up the kit and returned it to the store. I am on to you, lady. You ruined my happy sewing day.

I’ll start over tomorrow. I’m in the middle of a good book. The book at least has squared up corners 😉