Tag: Humor

Humor is everywhere – open your eyes!

The MAN Rules

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

A dear sis-in-law of mine passed along some critical information that I found extremely helpful, so of course I have to share it with y’all…

A man
Anonymous Man

Rules that every man wants you (his woman) to remember:
[ All are numbered #1 on purpose]

1.  MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1.  LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE: SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK! STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK! OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK! JUST SAY IT!

1.  YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.  COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON’T ASK US.

1.  IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1.  YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1.  WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1.  CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE…

1.  ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1.  IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY ‘NOTHING,’ WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1.  IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR..

1.  WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE…REALLY.

1.  DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS SPORTS OR FIREARMS.

1.  YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

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This explains a lot, doesn’t it?

Maybe we need to come up with a list of our own rules, ladies. If you know of any – please send them to me!  I will be happy to put together a list we can vote on.

And men, don’t be shy! You probably most of the women rules already.   😉

Hey Jodi, add this rule!

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Why I Should NOT Let Hubby Book Our Vacation

~ JodiLea ~ 5 Comments

What is worse than having your hubby make arrangements for your vacation?  Having his brother help him. Two men do not make a right.

After getting our cabin ocean view re-instated (yes, it cost more money to have a view out the window, instead of an obstruction), I realized my mistake.

I should have worked with my sister-in-law and the travel agent when the arrangements were made. I thought it was a wonderful break to not be the one having to deal with the details. And it was – until, of course, things were wrong.

I am not saying that my hubby and his brother are dolts. They are both extremely intelligent men. That being said, they do not know how to communicate very well. It is a family defect that occurs in every male and when 2 (or more) men in the family make plans, arrangements, whatever, this defect grows exponentially.

The poor travel agent probably asked the right questions, was told by each party their version of what we all wanted to book. Her mistake was to believe them and not cross-verify the bookings and the terms with both. She told me she did this. I didn’t argue the point, but I know my hubby, and he would have never agreed to a cabin with a window you couldn’t see out of.

Now, everything is cool, as far as cabin assignments go. Unfortunately, I’m nervous now. Because what if the window thing is an omen?  A foreshadowing of more problems to come? I try not to dwell on the negative, yet a bad omen seems more likely than a good one. From past travel experience, I mean.

When I’m feeling positive, I can almost believe that we got the bad stuff out-of-the-way and the rest of our vacation will be perfect.

If this were your vacation, what would you think – bad omen or good times ahead?

J