Tag: Humor

Breaking My Own Rules

~ JodiLea

SorrySign

It’s only the second day of 2013 and already I’m giving y’all excuses for not posting this weekend. Please forgive me, but I must have my granddaughter fix while they are out of school this week. To you wonderful and loyal readers of my humble blog – I promise I will make it up to you (maybe a contest or challenge or who knows what will come to me!)

I could post using my iPhone app for WordPress, but typing on an iPhone is one tedious exercise in patience for me. Plus, I can’t remember how to post by email. All I can give you is this: I will try to post over the weekend, if I figure things out. Please remember I am at the mercy of an 8-year old and a 2-year old this weekend. They adore me, and I them. They have me trained and wrapped around their little fingers

I will be back Sunday night.  If you need some insanity before then, you can find it in my archives. Some of my best stuff is in 2010, when I started blogging and was bursting with craziness  😉  Most of you, dear readers, discovered my blog later and probably missed a few good ones.

See y’all next week!

photo credit: °Florian via photopin cc

Top 10 Goals (of a Mad Woman)

~ JodiLea

Goals

Last night I said I did not make New Year’s Resolutions. I do, however, write down goals for the year and try to meet them. There is a difference between the two.

  1. Stop procrastinating the things I want to do, to get chores done. I will try to procrastinate doing chores (even though messiness drives me nuts) – so I can write, read, sew, knit, crochet when I want to. Guilt free.
  2. Participate in Postaday2013 – you know there will be one. And I love entertaining my victims readers  ♥
  3. Select a new and more professional theme for my blog. Or a more silly one. It depends on how goofy I get before midnight  😉
  4. In the spring, I will bury the ashes of my beloved Mother, and dog Molly. No, not mixed together!  But I thought about it.
  5. Follow my Doctor’s “suggestion” to: “Find a good therapist”.  My Doctor just met me and already he has figured out I’m “not right”.  [I figure he is an exceptional diagnostician, but way, WAY nicer than Gregory House.  Like who isn’t?]
  6. Keep reminding myself of #1. Especially the “guilt free” part.
  7. Start meditating again. I am wound tighter than a little travel alarm clock that jitter-bugs across the end table and takes a nose-dive to the floor because it can’t stop going until it’s finished.
  8. Try Yoga for exercise since I can’t walk on water – even when it’s frozen.
  9. Keep asking hubby to vacuum for me because when a man picks out a vacuum cleaner, it serves him right.
  10. I want to complete my last will and testament. People in my family don’t live very long, ya know.

 

HappyNewYear

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photo credit (HNY): ღßẲŁĘĘღ»سبــحأن الله« via photopin cc
photo credit (Goals): duncan via photopin cc

Resolutions: Renouncing Your Flaws

~ JodiLea

ThisYearIWillQuit  New Year’s Eve:  The night you are expected to give up something, to gain something else that you are pressured into wanting.

Let me explain – We are pressured to stop smoking (or whatever) by family members and well-meaning friends. Our smoking (addiction) comforts us, and we don’t want to give it up. We know that smoking does horrible things to our body. We know how expensive cigarettes are because we have to buy them. We have tried to quit before, and things went badly.

We are afraid to face life without smoking (or whatever).  We need to smoke – to feel calm, balanced and non-homicidal.  That is your frame of mind before you go to the New Years Eve party. Then when you are caught up in the moment, you (loudly) declare you will finally quit smoking. Everybody claps and cheers and you blush and take a deep bow.

You wake up and it’s January 1st. You may or may not have a hangover, but you are dragging butt just the same. Morning coffee and a cigarette will get you right again. Suddenly, you remember that you vowed to quit smoking, while dramatically tossing your last pack into the fireplace.  You curse yourself for wasting cigarettes like that.

You manage to stay quit 2 more hours before running to the nearest 7-11 and buying a few packs. Possibly some chocolate also, to help ease the guilt of letting yourself and others down. What a depressing way to start a new year!

That is why I will not make any new year’s resolutions tomorrow. (Is that a resolution?) I want to start the new year off positively.

And I need to figure out how to do that – by tomorrow 😉

Stay tuned….
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photo credit: Lester Public Library via photopin cc