Meet Herbie, My Green Monster

August 5, 2013August 5, 2013 ~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

Note: I did not title this post: My Little Green Monster.

My Green Monster has not, nor will ever be, little. If it’s true that jealousy feeds on itself, growing bigger, then Herbie (my green monster) must weigh 300 pounds by now.

I am always in the company of Herbie. I named him because my brain grew tired of thinking “my green monster”. I have a pretty tired brain. Herbie (and I) envy everyone and everything. I manage to hide it pretty well (or so I think). I would hate for people to know just how shallow I really am. I certainly would not want this getting out on the internet. Ha.

It’s like this – I compare myself to everyone I meet, and I find myself lacking. Not only does this torture my self-esteem, but it’s exhausting. I have lived with the belief that if only I were pretty, everything would be OK. I would have self-esteem, confidence and more compassion. And yes, I’ll admit it, I’d get more positive attention.

In our defense, we don’t become insanely jealous. That is strange in itself, considering. I don’t shoot daggers out of my eyes at people, and we haven’t broken the law trying to steal stuff we want. Herbie is more of a pacifist. He likes to admire in people the things that I want, but cannot have. Things like a flawless complexion. Full lips. Large breasts I would flaunt at hubby – to see if I could lure him out of his shop, or just to be a brat.

Stuff like that.

We do not limit our envy to physical beauty – oh no! Herbie and I admire character, principles, bravery, honesty. We get misty eyed when we read something humorous, deeply moving, or impacting – wishing that I could write something that good.

We are suckers for romantic gestures and puppies. We are jealous of those who get to have one, and envious of those who have both. The typical “have and have not” scenario Herbie and I live with every day, in spite of all the therapy.

We hate that real-life isn’t life in the movies. Romantic comedy’s, that is. Not those vampire or zombie movies, which would, literally, suck.

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photo credit: Daniel Ferenčak via photopin cc

Today’s Addition To Santa’s Naughty List: The Cable Company

December 13, 2012 ~ JodiLea

!SNOWMAN

Each December, I notice a shortage of Christmas movies available on Cable’s “On Demand” feature. Today was the last straw – I wanted to watch a Christmas movie while I worked on Christmas gifts. Snowflakes were floating down and decorating the trees outside.

A perfect day to get comfy and watch one of the classics. The regular TV channels offered movies I’ve never heard of, and same goes for the actors. Our Premium Channel had one: Scrooged. Both of us love that movie, so I selected it. That was when I discovered the Cable Co. wanted $3.99 for the privilege of watching an old (1988) movie.

I could have watched Scrooged in July for free. (“Free” being a relative term, used loosely in this post). In August I could have watched “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” – also an old (1989) movie. Who the Hell watches Christmas movies in the summer? Maybe all the people who got gypped last Christmas.

If that annoys you, then the selections that are available will piss you off.

“Born on the 4th of July“
“The Exorcist” [also II and III ]
“Halloween“

But all is not lost. There are really good Christmas movies disguised as regular movies. If you have not seen these, you should check them out! (The “**” means not appropriate for children)

“Trapped in Paradise”
“The Ref”
“Home Alone” [I and II]
“Bad Santa” **
“The Family Stone”
“Love Actually”
“While You Were Sleeping”
“Ben Hur”
“Die Hard” [I and II]
“The Holiday”
“Lethal Weapon“

So, I ended up watching The Ref this afternoon. And all was good. 🙂

!SNOWMAN

Movie Review: Mirrors

January 2, 2011January 1, 2011 ~ JodiLea

It is a known fact (many witnesses/victims) that if you allow Jodi (me) to select tonight’s movie (from Netflix, On-Demand, or whatever) the odds of your viewing a “B” or “C” movie are 99.5%. Twenty minutes into the film you realize there has been a horrible mistake, but alas, you made the commitment and it’s too late now to pick another one from the list.

My sister must have temporarily forgotten this and she let me pick out a movie to watch while we waited for the Ball to drop New Year’s Eve. Hey, in my defense, the description of the movie was interesting. It starred Keifer Sutherland and not Mr. NeverHeardOfHim. It had to be a good movie if Keifer was in it!

No, it doesn’t.

MIRRORS
Release Date: Aug 15, 2008
Rated R: Extreme Violence, Adult Language, Brief Nudity
Run-time: 1 hr. 51 min.
Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller
Director:Alexandre Aja
Cast: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Amy Smart, Mary Beth Peil, Cameron Boyce.

Let me explain why I did not like it:

#1 There is a 24/7 security force that hires Kiefer’s character “Ben” for the night-shift. What does he guard? A fire damaged, condemned monstrosity of an old building. There is no business, construction, or people near this building. I could not get over this ridiculousness. Throughout the entire film I am asking my sister, “Why the hell do they have to guard that place?” She ignored me.

#2 Ben has this large tattoo on the inside of his right arm. It looked like it could be words or symbols of some kind. We never find out anything about it, so why did he have one? Is it really a tattoo and not movie make-up? Jack Bauer never had a tattoo.

#3 I love the genre “Horror, Suspense/Thriller”. Not a big fan of “So Gross I can’t take it”. I can take a lot of gross stuff, so I went into this with no fear. Just when I am absorbed with the story (taking a break from protesting the guarding of a condemned building), I am suddenly confronted with something so heinous, that I catch myself gnashing my teeth, curling up into a ball, leaning away from the TV. My sister is actually is enjoying the movie – go figure.

#4 Ben’s estranged wife. This woman exposes her cleavage way too much for a mother of two and a coroner. Come on! If you’ve got to show some titties write in a hot girl next door or a hooker. Don’t insult real moms !

#5 The ending. Ben does not get to return to his busty wife and 2 kids. After all the horror he endured fighting against the evil thing in the mirrors, he should at least get laid.