Tag: Nicotine

Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Week One

~ JodiLea

May 27th, 2011

Dear Diary,

I think smoking dampens your sex drive.

After a week of not doing it (smoking, that is), I am starting to think about doing you know what.  Often.  I have not been this frisky in years. I hope this is a lasting side-effect.

My TMJ has really acted up the past few days. I must be clenching my teeth, or sucking too hard on my little candies. Whatever is causing it has to stop – the pain is incredible. And yes, I am doing my jaw exercises and not chewing gum. I need Motrin, ice and a Valium. Two out of the three will have to suffice.

I pray that it’s not an abscessed tooth disguised as TMJ.  This would not surprise me much. It is a holiday weekend and things like that happen to me, when my dentist’s office is closed or he’s on vacation. He vacations a lot more since he got me for a patient. I’m pretty sure my bad teeth has paid for either his BMW or his boat too.

Anyway, I am rambling (OK, bitching). Need to stir the green chili burrito meat and take my ice pack to bed for a nap. Maybe I’ll have a fabulous dream….

Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Day 5

~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

Drug Bottles 🙂  I have my medication once again, so the world is a safer place.

My hubby is making me his yummy stove-top popcorn so I can munch tonight and take some in my lunch tomorrow. It’s little things like this to look forward to that keep me going. A good movie on my DVR. Winning tickets to play on a grocery store game. Finding my favorite sugar-free chocolates at the store. A good book to read when I have some time to actually read.

I am so exhausted from battling The Bitch all day that I’m lucky to read 2 pages before passing out. Hubby puts in my bookmark and turns off the reading lamp every night.

Sweet Dreams to y’all……

Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Day 4

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

I think I gained 10 pounds this weekend. I really wanted to sneak my birthday cake into my room and eat the thing by myself. There is only a large piece left and I want to hide it from my hubby before I go off to Curves. Yes – I know it’s ridiculous, and I don’t care.

The withdrawal symptoms have increased. What’s up with that? I am wearing the patch, so my body is getting Nicotine, from a new delivery system. The Bitch (my addiction, if you are joining this diary recently), demands the drug be administered in heavy doses that immediately reach the bloodstream. She is not liking this slow steady method and being The Bitch she is,  my day has been shitty.

I did manage to get a couple of things accomplished at work today. Then I spent the last 3 hours cleaning my office. My bookshelves have been a disaster and I was not going to tolerate it anymore. I know that tomorrow I will not remember why I put this here and the other over there. The important thing is I have gotten rid of some irrelevant papers and the dust bunnies.

Drug Bottles Tomorrow will be interesting. I have only 1/2 dose left of Welbutrin (a drug prescribed for helping your mood while you fight your addictions, among other things). My doctor was on vacation and it did not get refilled today. I forgot to order the refill on time. That is so unlike me, since I’m pretty anal about my refills. I bet The Bitch had something to do with this.

I am tired, grumpy, and have had a headache all day. And that last piece of birthday cake? I told him I wanted it for myself, but hubby had the audacity to eat half of it right after dinner. I knew I should have hidden it from the bum….