Diary of a Nicotine Addict: 8 months clean

Friday, January 20th

Dear Diary,

Today marks the 8th month I have not smoked.


I’m not excited because I have fought with The Bitch on a daily basis. I have used all of  my addiction fighting tools the past 2 weeks and I am exhausted. I am also terrified – I feel The Bitch gaining on me.

I need to call in reinforcements…

Side Effects of Nicotine
Scare Tactics?
Phoenix Age 7
Tough Love?
Heavy Arillery
The National Guard?
Bad Ass Guardian Angel
Bad Ass Guardian Angel?

I think ALL of these at the same time might work 😉

Things That Will Happen in 2012

Thank You

Thank you to all my family, friends and subscribers that have been faithful readers all throughout 2011.  You have made writing extra rewarding for me!

No, I am not claiming to be a  fortune-teller or psychic, but things I have planned (and looked forward to) for the past few years will be happening in 2012.


Hubby starts collecting Social Security. Married to an old guy will  just be plain weird.

I will have an iPhone.  I will also be changing carriers, for one that actually gets a signal if I am near my (new) house.

We will unload , Um, sell our home of 24 years to the highest bidder, give it to the bank, or whatever it takes to not owe anything on it.

Hubby & I will quit our day jobs. I have mixed emotions about this because I honestly like my job. But I like my hubby and writing even more.

Mountain House
The snowplow stops here

I will live next door to the Stanislas National Forest. A gorgeous house sits next to the forest. It has been waiting since December of 2009 for us to move in and make it our home. We hope to move in the spring.

I will re-design my blog space. Maybe go for a more professional look. Or not. Maybe I will have humorous tales to tell about wildlife and mountain living….

May the things you plan to happen in 2012, actually do!

Vanity Is The Enemy (or what a gal will go through to look cool)

Have I mentioned that I’ve gained a few pounds? I blame hubby for this. He is losing weight and I keep finding it. I do not begrudge him for losing weight he needed to lose. In fact, he’s looking mighty fine 😉  these days. What I don’t understand is why he can’t lose weight at work. But that’s not what I’m here to rant about today.

I was getting dressed a couple of weeks ago, and I had to wear something nice to show up for jury duty. No problem – I had a nice pair of black pants to wear. These pants, that used to slide gracefully over my thighs and hips, stopped at my knees. It took some tugging (and cursing), but they finally made it up to (what used to be) my waistline.

Open Zipper

The bigger problem was the zipper. It could not and would not close.

I tore through my closet in search of a top long enough to cover my crotch. No tunic length shirts or sweaters anymore.  Must have given them to Good Will or somewhere.  I had 2 options:

  1. I could wear jeans anyway (they were tight, but the fly stayed closed)
  2. I could wear my “old-lady” pants with the elastic waist and no pockets. The tunic top would have come in handy to disguise them as normal pants, but they still had no pockets. I HATE not having pockets in my pants. Where do you put your Id? Your lunch money?

Lunch money. My brain switches gears back to High School. I was robbed of my lunch money by an unseen thief. She, I assumed it was a she because it happened in the girls bathroom, suddenly reached under the door, into my stall, and snatched my lunch money right off the top of my books. Literally caught with my pants down. Just one of many humiliations I suffered in High School.

High School. Switching gears again. A memory of my mom telling me about when she was in High School. It was the early 50’s and it was poodle skirts, crinolines (ask your grandma), and tight jeans. “So tight in fact”, she confessed to me, “that I had to lie down on my bed to zip them up”.

Her wisdom lives on, and she thought us girls never listened to her. 😉   Thanks Mom!!

It worked. Black pants zipped up and button closed.  Who knew that gravity could be my friend?

Being me, instead of feeling triumphant, I start worrying that the pressure put on the zipper by my flab would break it. I would have to pee at some point, which meant using the straining zipper. How would I get my fly closed again without my bed?

Did the zipper hold?  Amazingly it did. Even with peeing, it still worked. But not once, during the entire day, did my pants ever become comfortable. Ever.

Sooo, I’m working to lose the weight my hubby gave me. I don’t know how many pounds I gained because my denial reflex has not allowed me to get on the scale. It’s funny how it takes me three times longer to lose what he lost and I found.

Actually, it’s not  funny when I think about it.

Is there a moral to this story? Many of them, actually. Pick one  🙂