Things I Learned in College

But Not in the Classroom…

I learned a lot of stuff I didn’t really need to learn. If for some reason I actually need to know some of that stuff, it’s too late. I’m sure it is forgotten by now. This doesn’t bother me, because I don’t plan to return to college and be forced to remember. I took classes to get my degree, and I did.

It’s the obscure, not mentioned in class, or by professors, knowledge acquired by life’s circumstances & choices that I feel the need to pass along to my young adult readers. So they won’t be as naive and clueless as I was, upon entering college.

Towers-North Dorm

This 12-story building is actually four towers (North, South, East & West), they connect in the center. My BFF and I were room mates in North Tower, third floor, room 302. The streetlight closest to the building could be a flashlight shinning from our floor manager’s room. Oh, that reminds me …

  • If you must ‘moon’ out a dorm window – do it from someone else’s room.
  • Do not ever, no matter how much they whine and beg, do a guy’s laundry for him. Ever!
  • Think twice before sliding sideways wearing socks, on a waxed floor in order to pass by a friends room, while looking at them. It only worked for Tom Cruise, in Risky Business and that could have been faked. It did not end well for me.
  • Ideas you come up with as you drive back to the dorm from a beer bust, are usually not good to act on. Sometimes they could be considered crimes. But those can be hysterically funny. Pee your panties funny.
  • Coke-cola, or hot cocoa, will remove old bleach stains from ugly green floor tiles.
  • Barfing into a planter, outside of a Burger King, is humbling.
  • Do not accept a ride home from a guy you met at a Hoe Down [a.k.a go home with the person you came with]
  • Don’t date someone that treats you like dirt. No matter how cute they are
  • Vinyl record albums will not break when thrown from the 12th floor in anger
  • Good table manners you learned at home are not appreciated by your friends who want to “get to the party already!”
  • Don’t lean in when you are asked to smell someones ice cream. It’s a trap.
  • Small town drive-in movies do not show wholesome entertainment.
  • Frat guys will promise you anything to get you in their room. Then they pout when you really wanted to watch “The Grinch who stole Christmas” on their TV.
  • Chinese Fire Drills should make a comeback. We all can use more exercise.
  • Oh, and the most astounding thing of all? I had a 4.0 that year and the internet had not been invented!



49er’s Fans Ask For Less Comments and More Action

49er-logoIn spite of their efforts to beef up defense against running plays, and their  defensive lineman that thinks he is the God Of Thunder, the 49er’s beat Green Bay in the season opener. Again.


It was a great, exciting game! In spite of my usual complaint.

So, Troy Aiken and Joe Buck – why did you re-play the same tackle (over and over, and over again), showing Kaepernick getting massacred by Clay Matthews? This happened in the first half – along with many other plays that ended happier. Maybe it was the brawl that broke out after the hit that captivated you.

I agree that Matthews late hit was a nasty move, in fact, hubby and I both roared in protest when it happened.  A penalty was called, the players warned, and the next play was underway. We all had to move on. Everyone, except you two, moved on.

Then, y’all started talking about the ‘big mistake’ the ref’s made by ruling the repeat of the 3rd down. Then you speculated about how the 49er’s would not have gotten a touchdown otherwise. Oh, really??

There is no rule that says you have to kick on the 4th down. The 49er’s may have decided to go for it on the 4th down. Y’all don’t read minds, you just repeat whatever pops into your head at the time.  And… who says that repeating the 3rd down was a mistake? After all, this was not your typical ‘late hit’, was it?

All during the pre-season and tonight’s opener, I am increasingly irritated by inane chatter and opinions offered by whoever happens to be in the announcer’s box.

Don’t get me wrong – I love you, Troy and Joe. You are the least annoying commentators I’ve seen.  But…  this is me and I have to give you some tips on how you can improve your fanability*.

1. Enough of the reciting of stats and prior season flashbacks  – we are trying to watch this game. The one our team is playing. Now.

2. We do not care what happened in Miami five years ago. And we certainly don’t want to miss our teams current play so you can show film clips of the damned thing.

3. Your job is not to entertain us. We don’t care what you think the players or the coach is thinking, or going to do.

4. Some history or trivia about the players is fine to pass along (but NOT during a play). Re-plays of the last play are fine – once. The next play will be soon, and we want to watch that play as it happens.

5. If you don’t have something pertinent to the current game – shut up and watch.



* Fanability: adjective, [fan ah′ bill it tee]: Having the ability to please an audience or crowd.
Source: The Dictionary of Words That Should Exist