W.W.W.C Countdown

No, I’m not talking about the World Wide Wrestling Championships.

The reason for the above disclaimer, is because strangers assumed that was what the  ‘WWWC  X’  on the back of our beach cover-ups meant.  Look at us. We are sun worshipers and ladies of good reputation.  Some of us are in great shape, but come on! Do we look like wrestlers? Was it because our cover-ups all matched? (Thanks again Eddie, Maker of Fabulous Event Shirts)

The WWWC that I’m talking about is Woman’s Weekend Without Children.  Our kids called it Wild Women’s Weekend Camp-out. How did they know?! This year my BFF reserved a lakefront cabin at one of Missouri’s finer resorts.

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This place, inhabited by women only, will feel like paradise. Offspring  are left at home with daddy’s and grandpa’s. Only in-utero children are allowed. And absolutely NO MEN. Not even male drive-byes or twilight visits. Four glorious days of doing whatever we want, whenever we want. Taking care of only ourselves. No compromises with other family members. A long weekend devoid of  “Mommy!” and  “MOMMMMMMM!”  Devoid of  “Honey, where’s the ___?”  or “What have you done with my _?”

I am ecstatic that I’m (finally) able to get to WWWC this year.  It has been over 10-years, which is WAY, WAY too long. I have missed so much that I won’t “get” most of the private jokes and past references. I hate that.

If you are a woman reading this, and are not sitting on the edge of your seat, anxious to hear more, then you must be single.  Single women are rarely invited because they already have a WWWC lifestyle, and are not able to truly appreciate the perks. Or understand where any of us are coming from. Well, same to you, Sister.

Meals at WWWC are whatever I bring to eat. And, the best part is that I don’t have to consider anyone else’s aversion to beans, fear of green food, or picking mushrooms out of anything that has them in it. The thought crosses my mind to make bean, spinach and mushroom soup, thankfully, it passes quickly. I can cook (and eat!) fish without listening to “Eww!” or “Gross!!” I can be lazy and plan already made meals like deli-wraps and packaged salads.

When I’m finished eating, I wash up my place setting and put away any leftovers. Another gal takes my seat at the table and enjoys her meal while chatting with table-mates that come and go.

And guess what??   Nobody cleans up after anyone else – because it isn’t necessary.

What a concept!

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W.W.W.C.  X – Navarre Beach, Florida

I hope I’m not pushing the secrecy rule by using  WWWC  X  photos for this post.  I use them only because we all Look. So. Damn. Hot.  Who doesn’t want to be seen looking hot?

I normally give credit to my photographer(s), however, for the life of me I can’t remember who took the pix.

I must have finished that thermos of martinis before the photo-op…

♥  TTFN  ♥

The Woman Rules: Our Side of the Story

TeaTimeLast month I received copy of “The Man Rules” in my email. I, with some fellow bloggers/readers, had to respond with some “rules” of our own.

1.  Hurting us physically or emotionally may make us cry. If you do not want us to cry then don’t do that. If YOU did not hurt us, don’t try to ‘fix’ us. Just hold us and let us cry it all out.

2.  If  you realize you made a mistake, or that you were wrong about something – fess up. Apologize if you need to. Odds are you need to.

3.  Leave the damn toilet seat however you want.  Just AIM for pity’s sake.

4.  Do not ask the woman you just drove to and from outpatient surgery, “What’s for dinner?”

5.  Whenever the 49er’s (or whoever) have a game, we will be using the TV. Yes, that includes the remote. We will not be cooking, answering the phone – anything.  PLAN AHEAD.  The team schedule is posted on the fridge.

6.  We cannot read minds.  But, we are pretty sure we know what you’re thinking.

7.  If you are refusing to talk (or otherwise communicate) with us, we will imagine, construe – basically make up, what’s wrong and why you are not speaking to us.  We are aware of #6, but that does not keep us from inventing ridiculous scenarios in our head. These scenarios always turn out badly for you.

8.  When we tell you that your habit of checking out “babes”, or flirting with them, doesn’t bother us – WE ARE LYING.

9.  We know we are eating way too much pizza and Chinese food, but it’s been a long day, we don’t want to cook, and no one else is offering to.

10. If you think our menstrual cycle is horrifying – just wait until menopause. WE don’t even know what the Hell is going on. What we do know is we have Zero Tolerance for annoying.  And everything annoys us.

God be with you.   ♥

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Photo credit to Letty, proprietor of The August Tea Room, Livermore, CA.
Ladies having tea: Myself, My Lovely Daughter and My Lovely Daughter From Another Mother.
[left to right]

 

Romance For Dummies: V-day

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In honor of  St. Cupid, I am “paying it forward” to educate men about romance and how it can make their lives (and ours) much happier. ” If your woman is happy…”  and so on.

The very first item we need to cover  is Valentine’s Day. It is this week!!

NEVER ignore this day, or pretend you forgot, to save you from making an effort to be romantic. Gentlemen, you  screw yourselves by doing this. (Pun intended)  This is the one day of the year, she needs to feel special.  Desired, adored and spoiled by you. If she tells you “Oh, Valentine’s Day is no biggie. I don’t care about flowers and chocolates…”.  Do not sigh relief and be glad to get out of it.

SHE  IS  LYING.

Don’t panic!  Remember, you once convinced her to go out with you.  Be that guy. Flirt with her.  I don’t care if you’ve been married for 25-years, she will flirt back.

The Valentine’s Day gift must be something wrapped, for her to open. Taking her to dinner is romantic, but NOT a gift. If you can’t afford to buy her nice jewelry – don’t worry.  My favorite gifts have been a picture of Micky & Minnie Mouse flirting (perfect for a new courtship), and the cutest cement  bunny that mysteriously appeared in my garden.  BTW,  I married that guy…

It doesn’t matter what*** the gift is.  It just needs to represent your feelings for her. Maybe it represents a private joke that only you two share.   The point is you are expressing your love for her. That’s all she wants. Really.

Now that isn’t so bad, is it?

♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥  ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥  ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥  ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥

*** Gifts to NEVER buy a woman (for any occasion):

  • Kitchen Utensils (i.e. spatulas, colanders)
  • Vacuum Cleaner
  • Apron
  • Voo-Doo Doll
  • A Cookbook (unless cooking together is your “thing”)
  • Electronic Gadget that you want
  • Gun(s)
  • Porn (Dude!  Totally not cool as a gift)

Ladies – please send me any suggestions or ideas that need to be passed along to your man. Together we can make a difference  🙂

photo credit: Sebastià Giralt via photopin cc