What Kind of Shape Do They Mean?

In August of 2010 I purchased a pair of  “Shape Ups”.  Sketchers™, the manufacturer, boasted these shoes would not only help you walk correctly but they promised to tighten my ass.

They were a bit pricey, but one of my favorite stores had them marked down, so I figured – why not try them? I was the first to admit that my ass needed some tightening. Perhaps they will help me walk correctly and help my back too.

Well, I brought them home and there was a DVD and an instruction manual you had to view before wearing the shoes for the first time.  Say What??  I was 50 years old. I have walked in tennis shoes most of my life.  And doing it all wrong, at least according to Sketchers™. Thank goodness that I bought their Shape Ups and they will help me walk correctly at last.

The maiden voyage did not go well. The arch of my foot was higher than the heel. This  was dangerous for a klutz like me. We stumble often in normal shoes. I felt like a toddler must feel on unsteady ground. I tripped and fell a lot. I appeared mobility impaired. My sister laughed at me. She got a pair the same time I did and walked like a normal person. The brat!

Real Shoe vs. Shape Up
Real Shoe vs. Shape Up

The first months of learning how to walk all over again was difficult. Not, however, as difficult as standing still was. One has to rock and reposition their feet in order to not topple over. This feature is supposed to get our legs in shape I guess. My legs always ached, especially my knees. My thighs were not happy with me either.  And there was no tightening of the ass going on – at all.

It took me a year+ to get used to the damn shoes, and now I have had enough. I dug out a pair of my old real tennis shoes and wore them to work yesterday. Big Mistake. Obviously my Shape Ups have molded my feet into submission. After half a day, I could barely walk in my old shoes – and it was very, very painful. I have a feeling that new shoes will take a long time to get used to.

I’m wearing the Shape Ups again this morning. I don’t have the energy to fight with my feet anymore and I have no time to stand still anyway…

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