My Custom Superhero

This is the summer of the superhero. Even if there already was a movie about a superhero (e.g., Spider-man), it got re-made with new people (I hate it when they do that!). 99.9% of all superheros are male, and honestly, this is OK with me.  I’m an old-fashioned girl who grew up on fairy tales, hero’s on white horses, damsels in distress, and all that.

No wonder I’ve been clinically depressed most of my life.  But that’s another post for another day…

What woman would want Spider-man’s job anyway? Spraying cobwebs from the palm of your hands, and swinging on skyscrapers with them. Yuk!  A gal would also need to be a super-model to get away with wearing that one-piece elastic leotard. Definitely a superhero for the male persuasion.

Same goes for Hell-boy, and the Incredible Hulk. I work hard to make myself presentable in public, and I do not want to be seen like this – even by bad guys.

I’d like to see a  female super-hero that is not some Hollywood version of  a well endowed hottie in a tasteless tight outfit.  A no-nonsense woman that doesn’t need to change into a costume to fight evil. And, she won’t put up with anyone’s crap, either.

I could be this superhero because I’m the farthest thing from a well endowed hottie, and I don’t even own a costume. (I do take crap occasionally – but only a bit.)

I want my superpowers to include:

  1. Invisibility  This way I would learn what was going on behind my back. This power would have been really handy when I was parenting teens.
  2. Super Strength  I would need to have a powerful force to stop nefarious characters in their tracks. This would help with the vacuuming situation also.
  3. Telekinesis  So I can move something when my hands are busy.  Combined with #2, this could be a powerful weapon.
  4. Psychic Ability  Be able to sense hidden emotion, agendas, and people who are lying (Another handy thing that parents of teens could use)
  5. Glamoring  That handy little tool vampires use to get their way and convince humans something did not happen that did. Or visa-verse. (Might be occasionally useful on hubby)

I do not want:

  • To fly  A fear of heights and flying do not mix.
  • Create fire  Hot flashes are bad enough, thank you.
  • To time travel  I could never understand that “time continuum” thing.
  • To carry a heavy object   No hammers or shields please. My purse is heavy enough.

Until I’m struck by lightning or hit by a rock from space, I will have to wait for my superhero status.

I will try to think up a good name while I’m waiting  😉