5 Things That Would Have Killed Grandma (if She Wasn’t Already Dead)

My dear paternal Grandma, was a very opinionated lady. You always knew where you stood with her. You always knew where she stood about everything. She was also a fun-loving and free-spirited gal. She loved television and when she lived in Los Angeles she got herself on some game shows. I never got to see her on TV. When I was a kid we only had tape recorders and they were not state-of-the-art. Forget DVR’s set up to record shows. Hell – we didn’t even have cable!

I spent a lot of time with grandma, on her couch, drinking diet soda and watching TV, game shows and classics like The Andy Griffith Show, F-Troop, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Rifleman, Perry Mason – I could go on, but I won’t. She never watched “serials”, which back in the day were what soap operas were called. They were too stressful for her to watch she told me. Everyone was always sick, broken-hearted or marrying the wrong people. She said they were too much like real life.

Reality: I have to laugh when I imagine grandma watching one of today’s “Reality Shows”. I doubt she would have watched many of them, based on their title alone. “Naked and Afraid” comes to mind. Last night I came across a new title: “Naked Dating”. I had to put on my glasses to make sure I was reading it correctly. When I stopped laughing, after 15 minutes or so, curiosity won out and I tuned in for a minute. A minute was all it took for me to confirm the stupidity. Picture this:  A man and a woman, completely nude  (their naughty bits are blurred out),  on a date.

Now this “date” was not your dinner and a movie kind of date. It was filmed at a nudist camp slash tropical resort, somewhere with huts on stilts along the shoreline.  So, it wasn’t a date at all, but a couple flirting over cocktails. Then the couple joined 2 other couples and all of them flirted with each other. No one went home with the date they came with. In fact, they left you with the feeling that switching partners was a normal occurence around there. And the show is filmed like Survivor, mostly interviews with the “daters” talking behind everyone elses back. Two thumbs down and no stars. Only the title is funny.

Facial piercings & tattoo’s: When I got my ears pierced for 8th grade graduation grandma shook her head and told me “Now you have ruined your ears for life!” If she found out about her great-great granddaughters ink she would punish ME, because somehow, I screwed up as a parent.

Her piano: I gave her piano, that she left to me, away!  To a great home and very, very nice family. The little girl who wanted to take lessons name is Lillian. Just like yours! How wonderful is that, heh?  It was a sign grandma, seriously.

The traffic on I-580: When I was a kid that freeway was barely a freeway and there only seemed to be traffic when you were waiting at the stop sign to get on the freeway. No Portola Ave. on-ramp then. A stop sign then turn left onto the road, as fast as your car could go. Things are waaay different now.

Her collections: She loved covered wagons and birthday angels. She kept grandpa busy building shelves and cabinets to display all that she brought home from travels, stores and garage sales. Back then she was considered eccentric and got written up in the local newspaper with lots of photos of her huge collection.

Now she would probably be sought out by the producers of Hoarders.

♥  TTFN  ♥