Category: Humor

Let It Go (non-Disney version)

~ JodiLea

I have started posting signs, sayings and photos around my office. Most of the time to motivate me, but sometimes they are to warn people.

ThreeSidesThere is a magnet on the fridge that says “Don’t make me go to my Dark Side”.  I did not buy it to be funny, but many  people at work thought it was.  Obviously they never saw it.  The Number 3 side I mean. The Dark One.

I am not a dark kind of person. When I do feel ‘darkish’, I hide it. Until I can go off and be alone. Because I  must  let it out. Very bad things can happen if I don’t.

Like a pressure cooker, it builds up, and as more annoyances, and irritants pile on, they cause more pressure to build. If I don’t let some steam escape now and then, eventually like a pressure cooker, I will blow.

The aftermath rarely injures anyone but myself. Because instead of an “explosion”, it’s more of an “implosion”. Anyone who has had therapy will tell you – anger turned inward = depression.  We must let out some steam now and then to prevent the Dark Side from winning. It can also prevent homicide and prison.

I am not a therapist. I am, however, qualified to pass along advice about those things that I know help me.  They may not help you in the same way, but they may inspire ways that could. Cool, huh?

Letting it Go…

  • Think of how this, whatever this is, will make a funny blog-post.
  • Repeat after me, “There is no law against stupid”.
  • Tape your Halloween “special effects” when you get home and start screaming. No reason to waste good screams.
  • Plan a new fun project – with a skill you enjoy the most. I quilt. I love taking things apart and putting them back together. Differently.
  • Pull weeds. Seriously. This symbolizes removing the things you don’t want in your life. I like ripping those *#$%@!! weeds out of the Earth. If you don’t have enough weeds, pull your neighbors. They won’t mind.
  • Adopt a dog to cuddle and take for walks. Sorry, cat people, but cats won’t work.
  • iPod + housework. Similar to the weed thing.

If y’all have something that works for you – don’t be selfish! Tell the rest of us about it  😉

J

 

A Wake-Up Call

~ JodiLea

AngelStatue  No more calls from J. C. since the one last Friday. Anonymous commented on that –
“It’s all over Facebook. Tons of people are getting this call!”

Oh, Really?

I use Facebook to keep up with friends and family and I have yet to see any mention of phone calls from heaven. Maybe Jesus is only calling those people who need to shape up. This would explain why my friends and family are not getting the heavenly wake-up call.  It would also explain why I did.

Out of the 7 deadly sins, at least 3 of them have hung around lately.  They are my favorites, and I tend to allow them to visit when I’m feeling sorry for myself, in pain, or weak in spirit.  Welcome to my summer…

Gluttony came over first and allowed me to eat whatever the hell I wanted to, when I wanted to. Stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning watching movies that hubby rather not. There are a ton of those kind of movies.  It’s amazing how quickly a person can gain 20-pounds.

Pride naturally came over to torture me about not fitting into my clothes anymore, rag on me to start grooming myself again (I have been lax about washing face 2x a day, caring what I looked like and didn’t want to leave the house – i.e. get dressed). Sometimes she (vanity) goads me into action, sometimes she makes me depressed. I flipped back and forth all summer long depending on how much pain I was in.

Last, but never least, Sloth shows up. To encourage what my therapist would call, “The Fuck-Its”.  Meaning, you don’t give a hoot about anything anymore, you don’t want to deal with even the smallest things, and just leave me the Hell alone. I don’t want to quilt, or (gasp!) write.

Unchecked, Sloth lures Wrath into the mix.  Luckily, the call from Jesus Christ last week stopped the vicious cycle. The thought of having to answer to the Lord freaked me out. I knew I was not taking good care of myself (physically and spiritually), and he would be displeased.  He did not even have to say anything over the phone line – I got the message.

Did you get a wake-up call?

 

 

 

WHO Called!?

~ JodiLea ~ 6 Comments

JesusCallingSo yesterday, while I was gabbing and sewing with two of my friends, my phone rang. I figured it was a solicitor or a recording of one, so I did not bother to put my sewing down and answer it. I have caller ID, and an answering machine that would announce who was calling.

I was thankful I had 2 witnesses who also heard the machine’s robot voice announce,  “Phone call from Jesus Christ”  I was stunned and stood there stupid until caller ID repeated the message.

I had to answer the phone! – How often does Jesus Christ call a person?  I grabbed the receiver – the phone display also said “Jesus Christ”. When I pushed the ‘talk’ button my witnesses said “put it on speaker!”

Now the three of us were bent over the counter top, earnestly listening as I said “Hello?”

No response. I said it again, louder this time, adding “Jesus are you there?”  Silence.  No dial-tone, static or background voices like you get when a solicitor calls. No muffled breathless giggles from kids making prank phone calls.  Just a peaceful and eerie quiet.

As fate would have it, I had just finished listening to an audiobook titled; “Phone Calls From Heaven”  Written and narrated by Mitch Albom.  In the book, certain townspeople were getting phone calls from deceased loved ones. Instead of Mom, Dad or Sis – I get a phone call from Jesus Christ Himself!   Am I in trouble?

The call came from the 620 area code, which I looked up in a reverse phone directory on-line. The call did not originate in Heaven, but rather Hutchinson, Kansas.  The fact that it came from a wireless phone was the only info I could get. For free, I mean. I was too chicken to call the number last night, but now I realize that whoever had called, already has my number.

It’s too late tonight to call – not Heaven, but Kansas. Maybe I will be braver tomorrow.  I sure hope that Heaven is not IN Kansas, but somewhere like Hawaii or the Caribbean.  😉

Maybe the whole thing is an innocent mistake.  A guy in Kansas tries to call a buddy in Modesto , but punches in the wrong digits. His name just happens to be Jesus (pronounced Hey-soos) and his last name is Christ. If he has a listed number, the phone book would say:
Christ,  Jesus

That would be spooky.

Or… Maybe it’s some techno geek that can ‘ hack’ into Caller ID and have the display say whatever he wants it to. Then he calls someone to scare the be-Jesus (no pun intended) out of them. If this kind of Caller ID fraud catches on, it’s possible that we could receive calls  from God, the Tooth-Fairy, or the president of the United States. From the FBI, CIA, Iron Man. Maybe even Santa Claus.

Ho-Ho-Ho…

Anyone else getting calls from Jesus?  Captain America, or his friends?  Please comment and let me know that I’m not alone!

TTFN,
Jodi

 

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photo credit: was_bedeutet_jemanden via photopin cc