Tag: Humor

Silly Post Monday: Frogs

~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

This is the kind of frog I like:

Big Frog On Couch

Because,

  • Hubert the Frog  is not slimy.
  • He is quiet and doesn’t croak all night.
  • He seems happy.
  • He doesn’t jump, so the Calaveras County Frog Jumping Contest in May is out, but I can get over that.
  • He does not need to eat, so I don’t have to keep bugs in the house.
  • No eat – no froggy-doo
  • He does not exhibit destructive behavior when we leave him alone.

We know something goes on when we leave, but  we can’t prove it.

However, lately we suspect that Hubert Frog is really Hillary Frog, or having a party. Even worse, Hubert invited over a couple of buddies to watch Monday Night Football.

More Frogs

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Frog Pattern provided by Lion’s Brand Yarn.

What Retired People REALLY Do

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

Oh, sure. We travel, relax, go for walks. We putter about the house, doing this and the other. We also join Guilds and get on Facebook more than we used to. Young people think retirement is one big Yawn-Fest, and old people are a bit “off”.

Young people can be wrong.

I’ll let you in on a little known fact: Retiree’s are so excited they don’t have to go to work anymore, they go through a “silly phase”.  Their children begin to worry about their mental state, and their grandchildren think they are the most fun people in the world.

That’s what it’s all about – fun. More like FUN.  Anyway, to give you an example of the type of silliness I’m talking about, I will tell you the story of the two bears.

Hubby and I were doing some Christmas shopping in the big city (of Manteca) and saw a large container full of stuffed bears. Huge Bears.

Momma Bear Knits   Poppa Bear with Remote
Miss Bear Knits                      Mr. Bear Has Remote

Apparently, the bear world is not so different from ours.  As you can see, these bears are bigger than I am, not to mention my grand-daughters. Even better, you should FEEL how plush they are. I had to get these for the girls. I couldn’t wait to see their faces when they saw them.

The Bears were too big to wrap and they would not fit under any of the beds. All closets were full of boxes of stuff to organize later.  Soooo, we just kept them in the family room. Now, here comes the silly part – we (hubby and I) played with the bears. That’s right. We even giggled like little kids. I would put hubby’s glasses on Mr. Bear.  They often watched TV together.

NowPoppaCanSee        BearsWatchingTV

One time, I put them sitting together on the couch holding hands.

Before I got around to taking a picture, hubby snuck in from his shop and changed their position. When I went into the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of what the Bears were doing  in the family room!

  (I did remember to take a photo)  MrBearGetsFrisky

Well, this turn of events required an equally surprising response.  And it got one.

♥   It was time for Mr. Bear to propose   ♥

                                                                       And yes, they are living happily ever after…

ProposalWithFlowers

Diary of a Nicotine Addict: The Party’s Over?

~ JodiLea

A Christmas tree inside a home.Yikes!  It’s the holiday season. Again. Already.

Most of us (addicts) associate holiday parties and family get-togethers with our addiction.

  • Using nicotine (or alcohol, Oxycontin, fill in your drug of choice), was a large part of you having fun or not.
  • Using “helped” you deal with holiday stress.
  • You “had” to use, to put up with your crazy and dysfunctional family.
  • Everyone else will be using their drug of choice and having a great time.
  • You can’t relax and be yourself without using.

I had all those reasons and more. Anything to defend my addiction. Because the terror of having to QUIT was unbearable. My life would not be worth living if I couldn’t smoke.

Are you nodding your head about now? Do you dread this time of year because of the cravings?

You can blame The Bitch (a.k.a. Addiction)  for causing your turmoil.  She wants you to start using again, and she will try to seduce you.  She will put ideas and excuses into your head.

You must fight with everything you’ve got. The Bitch will tell you “Having just one won’t hurt anybody.” OR “No one will know.”

Oh really?  Well, guess what?  The Bitch lies.  Having “just one” will hurt your recovery. And everyone will know, even if you sneak it, because you will reek. I know that’s harsh, but reality often is.  I promise you – if you do have “just one”, The Bitch wins.  Every damn time.

What can we do to get rid of our addiction?  Unfortunately nothing. However, we can learn to ignore The Bitch’s siren song. We can practice the “tools” we learn in recovery, until they are engrained within us. Change behaviors that trigger cravings.

A counselor in my Quit Smoking program once told me that even if you spend the holidays munching on cookies, pies and other fattening crap,  it’s healthier than taking a drag of a cigarette.

Good to know.   😉

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