May 20th marked one year without a cigarette. Whoopee.
I wanted to celebrate by having a couple – so my battle is not even close to being won. Maybe battling with the Bitch is a mistake. She has proven to be the strongest and meanest one of us, many times over.
I came across this quote last week while preparing my sister’s eulogy:
Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness. – Psalms 30:11.
I have dealt with my addiction (a.k.a. The Bitch) all wrong.
I translated the verse (into jodi-speak) in my head: Thou hast turned for me my mourning (stopped dwelling on the NOT having), into dancing (expressing and celebrating life): thou hast put off my sackcloth (kicked me off the pity pot), and girded me with gladness (surrounded me with gratitude).
I need to DANCE with the Bitch, not fight her.
Train for strength, watch the enemy, and protect myself. The Mohammad Ali kind of dancing.