Today is New Year’s Day. I refuse to make a list of resolutions. I disappoint myself when I do not execute them perfectly, and I have enough trouble thwarting depression as it is – I don’t need to set myself up.
I would like to begin 2011 not bogged down with guilt. Guilt for not being as organized, as adventurous, as fearless, as intelligent, as fabulous and as gorgeous -as I want to be. I want to be content and accepting of myself. I am tired of never being good enough.
If you don’t get what I’m talking about – then you are blessed. You probably don’t need a therapist, or a support group either. I would hate you, except I am too exhausted from hating myself.
Oops – did I say that out loud? On the Internet?
Last year I would have erased this revelation, or deleted the entire post. This year I will give myself permission to be flawed. I will accept my imperfectness. No more pretending to be sane, or otherwise, for the sake of appearances.
Hmmm. That sounds familiar…